thoughtless

time for something new, huh?
Monday, May 23, 2005 | 12:15 p.m.

pack up the bags, honey, we're moving!

find me here.

"a victory and a setback in one decision"
Tuesday, April 27, 2004 | 06:23 p.m.

from the data lounge

Oregon Orders Halt to Gay Marriage
Wednesday, April 21st 2004

PORTLAND -- An Oregon state judge ruled Wednesday that Multnomah County officials must stop issuing same-sex marriage licenses. The county issued them for seven weeks. The judge says the ongoing debate over same-sex marriage licenses should be resolved by the state legislature or a higher court.

In issuing the ruling, Oregon became the first state in the nation where a judge has recognized gay marriage. But state legislators, the state Supreme Court or voters will have to decide whether the practice can extend beyond the county where same-sex couples have tied the knot.

On Tuesday, Multnomah County Circuit Judge Frank Bearden issued a ruling that was seen as both a victory and a disappointment by same-sex couples. Bearden ordered the state to recognize the 3,022 marriage licenses that Multnomah County has issued to gay and lesbian couples since March 3, and then ordered that they be stopped.

The decision by Bearden marked the first time in the nation that a judge has recognized gay marriage. An immediate appeal was expected.

"These are the first legally recognized gay marriages in the country," said Dave Fidanque, the ACLU executive director in Oregon. "In no other same-sex marriages that have taken place has there been a court order saying the state must recognize them. That's what's truly historic about this opinion."

Other cities, including San Francisco and New Paltz, New York, also began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples but were stopped by the courts in early March.

Bearden told the county to cease issuing same-sex licenses until the Oregon Legislature has a chance to fashion a new law, perhaps allowing Vermont-style civil unions.

He gave the Oregon Legislature 90 days from the start of its next session to come up with the new law. If that doesn't happen, Multnomah County can resume issuing marriage licenses to gays and lesbians.

The Legislature could convene in Salem as early as June for a special session that was intended to focus on tax reform. But the ruling generated little enthusiasm among lawmakers, who seem leery about getting bogged down in a stalemated special session this summer.

The decision effectively ends gay marriage nationally, at least until May 17, when Massachusetts is slated to begin allowing gay marriage following a high court ruling there.

sights & sounds
Wednesday, March 24, 2004 | 03:09 p.m.

1. ryan seacrest on kiis? ...weeeeird!!!!

2. it's also strange to hear kysr (star 98.7) to now say "the best music of LA and the OC" as opposed to "LA and Orange County"...but then again, who am i to point fingers. i say "the oc" now, too. i'm laaaame!!!

3. apple help line played "take five" while i was on hold. :) sure to be a good day.

4. i'm thinking about being a barista. barista. what a great word.

5. target has the most adorable commercial with all these wicked cute babies in it! lol.

6. the oc has become post-modern. i love it!

7. am on my second container of roasted red pepper hummus in two days. frightening.

8. i find the idea of a *real* theatre job scary--and i can't figure out if it's because i might LOVE it or my parents might HATE it. either way, neither option is good to discover.

9. :) craig's list is wonderful.

the snozzberries taste like snozzberries
Saturday, March 20, 2004 | 11:21 p.m.

there is a palatable difference between albany airport goers and LAX airport crazy folk. namely, the volume level at which it is acceptable to be talking, and the level of politeness towards others generally accepted as passable. ahh, home sweet home.

watched super troopers and the hours on my laptop during my day-long travel. tried to watch trainspotting, but became embarrassed at how much attention other ppl were giving it. what? have they never seen a bunch of scottish kids doing heroin and throwing up before? jesus. also ate half a large bag of chips, a personal pan pizza dripping with cheese, and a delightful snack "packed with luv" from southwest that included teddy grahm (?) crackers, peanut butter ritz-es, and shortbread cookies. i feel, in a word, healthy.

strained car ride home--typical. chatted with mum for a bit, read "the monster at the end of this book" to ry, who not only thoroughly enjoyed it but is quite a bit taller than me now. it's late. my sentences don't need to flow correctly. he also saw my computer desktop and said, "haha, you named your hard drive "rawr! hard drive" ! that's funny." i was just about to thank him when he said, "i named mine bob." he was serious! i asked him, why bob? he told me, laughing, "wedge! sometimes i just need a companion, you know?" LOL.

plans for this week: make sam look even whiter by "bronzing" and being tan next to him in comparison. read: the corrections, raymond carver short stories, nausicaa if i can find it at the library (andrew you rascal--i forgot to get it back from you), psych articles, maybe jurassic park since ry has it. unpacking? maybe. figuring out the best way to rip dvds. maybe doing some writing. maybe going to six flags?? certainly hope so.

also plan on going to jury duty (no joke), enduring the family (these are merely goals, remember), and seeing LA ppl. :) call me.

koo koo ka choo (i've heard it 2x in the last 2 days! crazy!)
Friday, January 2, 2004 | 02:38 a.m.

happy new year!!

happy birthday genevieve!! =P the only other female theatre major this year, and a dear friend since the beginning of freshman year (pull your tank top up during rehearsals, would you??). =) love you. friendly's???

i felt all cool tonight cause i played mahjong with my mom, my grammy and a neighbor friend of ours. i'm a big girl now, officially! no more waiting around on the sidelines for me! i can juuuust get by reading my numbers and my 4 directions, and everything else is winging it, making it rediculously easy to try to see what i'm doing ("POUNG! oh--wait--um--i thought...um, never mind!" really gives it away i'm looking for a tile that looks similar to that one. plus, it's physcially impossible for me to put on a poker face, i think. have *you* ever seen me don one?). anyway, i actually didn't do so badly...like phil once told me about my "strategy" for super mario smash bros: "you're actually really hard to play against! you just hit all the buttons without any sense of what you're doing! i can't figure out your next move or your strategy at all!" lol. it goes doubly for mahjong--i kept throwing out tiles i needed, making sets with no consistency (chicken hands), etc, etc. still though, i made back some of the money my grandfather had lost, hehe.

just a couple more days until i see sam again. ^.^ talking on the phone and emailng is nice, but seeing him in person is .so. much nicer.

also--seth cohen is on my friendster friend list. ^_^ eep!!! how meaningless and yet satisfying is that???

which reminds me--both 24 and the oc are coming back this week. double eep!!!

wish me luck at the devil that is called LAX. see you on the flip side!

"i appreciate women. i draw them, dont i?" "well, that's because we're so godamn beautiful, isnt it?"
Thursday, December 25, 2003 | 11:11 p.m.

1. i woke wes up soooo early this morning--10am. which is actually not that late, but ryry is insane and gets us all up at 7am for presents, so we're all done by mid-morning, and immediately deeply engrossed in starting to fiddle with the best of them. anyway, the reason i was calling wes is cause my best present is my amazing new 15" powerbook, which is easily the sexiest thing i own. (and i own a corset! and thi-hi fishnets!) and then my stepdad set up the wireless network in our house, so i'm sitting here, *wireless*, surfing the net and getting stuff done on a gorgeously designed mac. it's just so badass. anyway--wes--i was calling him cause i had questions and wanted to gush with a mac fanatic, as he is well known to be, and so i didn't even think twice about calling, then i woke him up and felt kinda bad...i got over that pretty quickly though. ^_^

2. so, i got the pb, and rygoo scored with a 17" iMac; it's gorgeous as well, and of course super powerful and beautifully designed, so there was a decent amount of time spent showing him how to operate a mac and the little differences btwn that and what he was used to. our family also increased its coolness factor further by becoming wirelessly networked, as i mentioned, so then ry was at his desk and i was on his bed and we were im-ing each other! :) it was like college all over again, hehe. i also took big advantage of ryan's other gifts--namely, legend of zelda: wind wakers for gamecube. um, everything my nerdy guy friends told me last year is true--it's a really fun game. in what amounted to the laziest christmas day i've ever had, i spent more time in front of the television or computer screen than i have in a long time--zelda, 007, super mario smash bros....then wireless internet and new applications to customize, i mean, what's a girl to do?? :)

3. i had some interesting film-related thoughts...i just recently saw neil labute's "the shape of things" as well as the first couple of hours of hbo/mike nichol's "angels in america" (my family accidentally taped over hour three! aaah!) in the same day. i didn't realize until after i saw them that they both were originally written as stage plays, and that i had actually seen both of them before the movies were made. it's neat; the part that stuck out for me the most happened in both--in each, there is a part where a character addresses the audience. in the shape of things, at the end, rachael weisz's character is presenting her art thesis. onstage, the audience then becomes her audience (and in fact, the other characters in the play even join the audience to watch her (and be watched!)); angels opens with the rabbi (written to be played by the same actress who plays joe's mother, and henry, roy cohn's doctor) addressing the audience at the funeral of louis's grandmother. there's something eerily personal about being addressed when going to the theatre; there's that whole fourth wall thing that people get freaked out with if you remove. but it also affects film in a diffferent way, too, i think...if a director chooses to have that actor address only the people on the set *acting* as if they were a real audience, then a part of that message i think is lost--there's something piercing about being addressed at the theatre. that's what i felt with angels; the rabbi's speech, the little jokes, her comments on judaism and "she wasnt just a person, she was a whole *kind* of person"...they didn't mean quite as much or fit in as well when she was only delivering it to the "family" of the "deceased"--just b/c i think we tend to hear more when directly spoken to. in the shape of things, neil labute had rachel weisz look directly into the camera once during her ending monologue, but i'm not quite sure if this solved anything either. rather than making me feel addressed, it felt more gimmicky, and since she hadn't addressed the camera before that moment, it only served to make me ultra-aware of its presence and therefore its hinderance. another interesting thing to note here is that neil labute not only wrote the stage play, he also directed it (in london, and then ny), and then wrote the screenplay and directed the movie. on the other hand, mike nichols, who directed angels, didn't write the play--but he did work closely with tony kushner, who wrote both the stage and the screen version. honestly? both plays were essentially lifted and transfered from theatre to film; very little was changed, some lines added and of course some lost thorugh editing, but there were no major changes in either case. i dont know if i have a point here, it was just something that struck me, i think.

4. in book news, i lent "the da vinci code" to my grandmother and was pleased that i successfully got someone to read something that wasn't a comic book. i waste my time on my immediate family, i swear. ry listens to me but is finding his own tastes, mom only reads in chinese when she has time to read at all, and ppr is all about the crazy simple self-help success-in-business books ("who moved my cheese?" and "fish!" are two prime examples). i had been telling ryry to start da vinci code for a week! so i was only too glad to lend it to grammy, who started it right away. as for me, i bought an interesting entitled book at the used book store for fifty cents--it's called "sin". looks like a pretty quick read as soon as i start, but i still have kari's "howl's moving castle", so i'm set for a bit.

5. all right, bed time for me--apologies for the short list and long rants. :) have a great in-between holiday week, all!

not too shabby!
Wednesday, December 17, 2003 | 01:26 p.m.

update!!

1. started reading da vinci code in the airport during my layover. halfway done by mid-plane ride home. finished yesterday afternoon. thoughts: had been wanting to read it for a while! glad i got around to it...started off thinking the writing was boringly simplistic, but once they got to the coding, symbology, and religious stuff i was tearing through it. i ended up enjoying it a lot--recommended it to ry cause i think it's totally something he can handle. began disclosure this morning in bed; even with the sex scene i know is coming up it hasn't caught my attention yet.

2. lotr!! someone was great enough to get me tickets to the 12.01 showing at the block, and then ended up complaining the entire time anyway :) (sound familiar, m?). we ended up having fun though, my favorite part being pippin's singing montage (SO gorgeous. so beautifully done...) and then least favorite part being the end, which dragged a bit (the someone was right on that account). the other fantastic parts of the night were waiting in line--but only for two reasons. one, i brought famiily guy and my laptop in line. yes, i am a genius. and cute orange county boys actually stopped as they walked by and were like, "is that family guy?? you have good taste! what season? ooh, you should watch the third season, the third season is the best..." ^_^ the other reason waiting around was cool is cause both elaine *and* rudy called me, which was badass!! i am always paranoid that my friend forget about me since i have allegiance (and proximity) to the east coast, so it's magnificent to be loved...and contacted :)

3. an angry point of the evening--for almost a week now, wes and i have been fucking PSYCHED about seeing the spidey 2 trailer, which was supposed to be aired with the lotr premiere. so we saw trailers for viggo mortensen's horse movie, harry potter 3 (which was cool, first time i've seen it huge), a vin diesel movie, the ashton kutcher/amy smart vehicle for "serious acting", a teaser for the new will smith robot movie...and then the ad that tells the audience to be quiet. WHERE WAS SPIDEY?! the disappointment completely ruined the first half hour of the film for me and wes.

4. one more thing: the ginormous SPIDER in lotr is fucking SCARY. i was flipping out. reminded me of the harry potter 2 disgusting scene with all those spiders. UGH.

warmth and emptiness
Sunday, December 14, 2003 | 05:15 a.m.

i get a little tongue twisted
everytime i talk to you, when i see you
and i'm so glad that you just missed it
the way i stared to memorize your face

to kiss you in my mind, to love you all the time
cause when i close my eyes
i still can see your smile
it's bright enough to light my life
out of the darkest hour

please believe it's true, when i tell you i love you

i've taken too many chances
searching for the truth of love that's in my heart
tell me if i've made the wrong advances
tell me if i've made you feel ashamed
cause i know i have to do this
would you hold my hand right through it?

cause when i close my eyes
i still can see your smile
it's bright enough to light my life
out of my darkest hour

please believe it's true, when i tell you i love you

had to let you know just what would happen
yes i had to let you know the truth
you know i've got to do this
would you hold my hand right through it?
cause when i close my eyes i still can see your smile
it's bright enough to light my life, out of my darkest hour...


make me a witness
take me out, out of darkness, out of doubt
i won't weigh you down with good intentions
won't make fire out of clay or other inventions

will we burn in heaven like we do down here
will the change come while we're waiting

everyone is waiting

and when we're done soul searching
as we carried the weight and died for a cause
is misery made beautiful right before our eyes
will mercy be revealed or blind us where we stand

will we burn in heaven like we do down here
will the change come while we're waiting

everyone is waiting...

why do people suck???
Tuesday, December 2, 2003 | 07:09 p.m.

okay, not all people. but definitely some of them:

Boy, 7, Scolded for Mentioning Gay Mother
Louisiana School Punishes 7-Year-Old Boy for Talking About Lesbian Mother, ACLU Alleges (The Associated Press)

LAFAYETTE, La. Dec. 2 A 7-year-old boy was scolded and forced to write "I will never use the word `gay' in school again" after he told a classmate about his lesbian mother, the American Civil Liberties Union alleged Monday.

Second-grader Marcus McLaurin was waiting for recess Nov. 11 at Ernest Gaullet Elementary School when a classmate asked about Marcus' mother and father, the ACLU said in a complaint.

Marcus responded he had two mothers because his mother is gay. When the other child asked for explanation, Marcus told him: "Gay is when a girl likes another girl," according to the complaint.

A teacher who heard the remark scolded Marcus, telling him "gay" was a "bad word" and sending him to the principal's office. The following week, Marcus had to come to school early and repeatedly write: "I will never use the word `gay' in school again."

A phone message left for Lafayette Parish schools superintendent James Easton was not immediately returned.

The ACLU is demanding the case be removed from Marcus' file and that the school apologize to the boy and his mother, Sharon Huff.

"I was concerned when the assistant principal called and told me my son had said a word so bad that he didn't want to repeat it over the phone," Huff said. "But that was nothing compared to the shock I felt when my little boy came home and told me that his teacher had told him his family is a dirty word."

as sam pointed out, this is actually a good thing for the anti-hate people, since it was a situation where no one got really hurt...but is still a story that will get a lot of press. also--it's the kind of story that even people who are uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality can see is outrageous.

anyway, going at 7.30 to see andres's piano performance. whoo hoo! then studying all night...except at 9pm, when i'm watching 24. again, whoo hoo! keifer sutherland, why must you be so badass??

another attempt to avoid work
Wednesday, November 26, 2003 | 10:08 p.m.

wednesday, vacation day 1:
intended wake up time: 10am
actual wake up time: 11.40am

intended activity this morning: homework
actual activity this morning: read the first 15 pages of the time traveller's wife (it's kari's book club book of the month)

intended time to catch the bus from port authority to ridgewood, nj: originally, 12.45pm
intended time to catch the bus from port authority to ridgewood, nj once i woke up late: 1.45pm
intended time to catch the bus from port authority to ridgewood, nj once i finished lounging around reading kari's book and kari finished her lit review: 2.10pm
intended time to catch the bus from port authority to ridgewood, nj once we found out there was no 2.10pm bus: 2.40pm
intended time to catch the bus from port authority to ridgewood, nj once the subways were late: 3.10pm
actual time of bus we got on: 3.10pm

amount of work i was supposed to finish today: 6-9 hours worth
amount of nap time i was supposed to have tonight: 0 hours
actual amount of work i actually did: 45 minutes
actual amount of nap time: 2 hours

given the discrepencies in intended and actual accomplishments for today, amount of guilt i should feel at behavior: 3.8 quarts
given the discrepencies in intended and actual accomplishments for today, how much i should buckle down and get right to work tonight: 6 moles
actual amount of guilt: very. very. little.
actual amount of learned discipline: none.

what *did* i do today? well, went to the supermarket w/kari and her mom, did the thanksgiving day shopping, watched the oc, napped in front of the fire...what are vacations for??

happy bday, kris.
Monday, November 24, 2003 | 12:00 a.m.

good lord! it's been a while. since i last pita-ed,
1. massachusetts (wes: massaCHUsetts) became the first state to legalize same-sex marriages. HOORAY! i looooove mass, even though it's freezing here already and i miss the sunshine...
2. my first show of the year came and went. anton chekhov's the seagull opened on wednesday night and closed this afternoon--a freaking SIX SHOW RUN! i'm exhausted. i played a small role, masha, but it's pretty emotionally straining to do for the entire cast, especially the bigger roles. our cast party rocked, there was some scandalousness for some people, there was some severe hoping for scandalousness for others, and of course enough alcohol to coast us all through the night. i have to admit that on the whole i'm glad the show's over since i'm exhausted, but there's always the post-show depression of sorts--people i love to hang out with that i'll just miss seeing on a nightly basis and in a ritual of kinds, you know? still, i couldn't have asked for a better audience reaction--i will admit, i'm surprised how many ppl told me they enjoyed the show. chekhov is hit and miss. i hate--i mean, hate--both cherry orchard and three sisters. dull, dull, dull--too freaking russian! but something about seagull is so great (probably all the unrequited love bits, and the spews on art, creativity, theatre, making the most of your life, always wanting better for yourself...), and i do like uncle vanya as well, though i have forgotten much of it. anyway, i wish the show being over would give me more time, but it's right onto the next...august strindberg's miss julie. dean's my workin' man, as shelley put it, and andrew's directing us, but i feel so freaked out about it. i need to just be drunk and sexy i think, and then i can get over my fears for the show...
3. kari came to visit twice--homecoming, and then to see my show. :) she and eric are the best alum-friends-theatre supporters-cool people ever, cause it's just so nice to have people in the audience who really want to see your work and support you enough that they'll travel a good long time to do so. tuesday i'll see her again for the looong thanksgiving weekend--i imagine buffy, h&m, republic, 21 grams, french roast, and comedy clubs in my future...sweeeeeet...
4. ah-nold took office. i wonder how that's going?
5. i learned how to use final cut pro. whoo hoo multimedia pieces. i'm not very proud of anything i have created so far, but i really really hope i keep trying, cause i think there's the potential to make really good work somewhere, hidden deep within me. at least, it makes me feel better to think so. realizing you're a complete moronic failure usually doesn't bode well for the work that still needs to be done, so i like to fancy myself in a comfortable though small purgatory of delusion. what i'm trying to say is that i want very badly to be good at doing these multimedia pieces, cause i think they can be so great when done well...but i just dont have the experience...or the time...to make them brilliant. i want so badly to be brilliant at *something*, goddammit.
6. for the first time, i gave away my one-second shoelace tying secret. damn sam and his persistence! however, i wowed him with a crazy card trick that i think i shall stand by refusing to explain. hooray cyndi's mysteriousness.
7. i was laced into a corset 11 times!!
8. okay i'm just running out of things for this list. i need thanksgiving!!

what?!
Tuesday, October 28, 2003 | 01:03 a.m.

for all the gay rights things it has going for it, tonight i hate the state of vermont. want to know why? over the weekend, a good friend of mine was arrested for speeding.

yes, you read correctly. he was handcuffed, fingerprinted, and mug shot for speeding. when i first heard this, i didn't believe it. i mean, i laughed, and then i didn't believe it, and then i snorted condescendingly at my source of the information, who i deemed clearly delusional as she was trying to convince me that he had been arrested for speeding. turns out she was right--he was driving from here in williamstown, massachusetts, *through* vermont.

granted, he was going pret-ty fast.

but *still*, you'd think this kind of thing works under federal law or something. i mean, who is ever aware that you can get something worse than a ticket for speeding?! i mean, in southern california, there's not really an issue of inter-state driving, like day trips. if we're going to vegas, that's a weekend trip or something. but here on the east coast, especially in the northeast, the states are so close together that we drive through vermont all the time--it's only 15 minutes away--the goddamn liquor store is there! and he got pulled over and handcuffed! now, is there any sort of way of letting people know, people who, say, *dont* live in this ridiculous state, that this is an arrestable offense? no! there's no signage! there's no billboards! there's no loudspeaker at the borders! they just let you speed through, and then ARREST you for it!

if my friend can't get this taken off his permanent record, for every single job application he has to fill out for the rest of his life, he has to mark "yes" for the question: have you ever been held under arrest? then the job interviewer will raise his eyebrows and say, "oh...really? what was the charge? was it a felony?" and my friend will say, "oh no, no. it was a misdemeanor, sir." and the interviewer will say, "a misdemeanor, eh? what, like vandalism?" and my friend will say, "oh, no. no, sir...it was SPEEDING." and there will be a pause, and the interviewer will laugh and say, "dont worry! that's not a misdemeanor, you can uncheck this box." and my friend will have to say, "well. you see sir. in vermont..."

*sigh*

anyway, sam reminds me that with the amount of work i have, pitaing perhaps can be put off till later...he's so sensible. (haha) love to everyone back home, the only people who read this anyway. that, and the random creepy people who search yahoo!search for "naked pictures of legolas". *snort* dont i wish.

a davis fan now?
Monday, October 6, 2003 | 03:16 a.m.

Davis Signs Landmark Partners Bill
Monday, September 22nd 2003
SAN FRANCISCO, Ca. -- In the midst of a fight for his political survival, California Governor Gray Davis signed a bill on Friday giving gay and lesbian domestic partners a host of new rights formerly restricted to opposite-sex married couples.

Hailed by gay civil rights advocates as a historic leap forward, the law was signed before a cheering crowd of some 600 people assembled at the San Francisco Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Community Center.

"I think we are at our best when we extend rights to every Californian no matter who they are or who they love," Davis said to the raucous crowd. "I believe to my core that we are all God's children," he said. "The actions we take tonight are actions that move all of society forward together."

Davis was flanked by supportive members of the legislature, including the bill's author, Assemblywoman Jackie Goldberg of Los Angeles. She called the signing of the bill into law, "a significant and historic moment," though she conceded the bill fell well short of marriage.

"We really should not have to be going through all of this domestic partner business," Goldberg told the San Francisco Chronicle. "We should have our relationships recognized as marriage. But that's not where we are yet. This bill makes sure our families get protected, our children are protected, our partners are protected to the fullest extent of the law."

The law gives state-registered domestic partners all of the same rights, protections, benefits, obligations and duties as married spouses regarding property, children and arrangements after death. It gives a partner the right to financial support and child custody if the partnership is dissolved, and it gives a survivor the right to collect his or her partner's state and municipal benefits. The law also will make partners responsible for one another's debt.

"This is a tremendous leap forward," Daniel Zingale, the governor's Cabinet secretary and advocate, told the Los Angeles Times. "This takes us into the area of family law, the things which make for the fabric of a committed relationship. It's monumental in a national sense. It positions California in the forefront of equal rights and responsibility for lesbian and gay Californians."

All 32 Republicans in the 80-member California Assembly voted against the measure. The vote in the Senate was similarly split along party lines. The new law takes effect in January 2005.

from http://www.datalounge.com/datalounge/news/record.html?record=20991

more quizzes
Monday, October 6, 2003 | 12:29 a.m.


Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

lol. that's me.

i kept wes up last night. ^_^
Thursday, October 2, 2003 | 12:00 p.m.

sololaugh: ((cYNDI))
xcr253: (((brock!!)))
xcr253: i cant believe you got me on rabbit
sololaugh: yeah, AND
sololaugh: i was listening to hip hop while doing it
sololaugh: which was a sweet bonus
xcr253: haha!
xcr253: awesome.
sololaugh: yes you are
sololaugh: :-)
xcr253: ??
sololaugh: haha i had a dream about you
sololaugh: you saved my life, cliffhanger style
xcr253: thats AWESOME
sololaugh: haha and for that, I ((cyndi))
xcr253: lol
xcr253: tell me more
sololaugh: lol, essentially, because of some recent bad news i got, i decided to climb a mountain in order to free my mind
sololaugh: and somehow i convinced you to go too
sololaugh: once we reached the top, we realized it was a forked mountain with TWO peaks, one slightly higher than the other, with a valley dividing the two
sololaugh: well, we HAD to reach the higher peak, cuz what was the point
xcr253: lol
sololaugh: we throw a zip line across the chasm and start to go over hand over hand, while hanging from the rope, like monkey bars
xcr253: we threw a zip line??
sololaugh: lol
sololaugh: yes
sololaugh: i suggested it; you agreed
xcr253: .awesome.
sololaugh: so yeah, it was really windy
sololaugh: and somehow a breeze blew my belt off
sololaugh: so my pants were falling, and as i was hanging there, i reached down to pull them up, letting go of the zip line
xcr253: LOL
xcr253: AWESOME.
sololaugh: lol, so yeah, since you were in front of me and saw me fall
sololaugh: you cut the zip line and swung down all tarzan and grabbed my pantless self
xcr253: THAT FUCKING ROCKS
xcr253: this is the BEST
xcr253: DREAM
xcr253: EVER!
sololaugh: lol
sololaugh: all i remember from the swing was thinking
sololaugh: 'man, its cold'
xcr253: XD
xcr253: wonderful
sololaugh: haha so yeah
sololaugh: thanks cyn :-)
xcr253: np, babe. any time.
xcr253: do i have your permission to reproduce this story on my pitas?
sololaugh: lol, sure
xcr253: EXCELLENT. the people deserve to know :-)
sololaugh: hahaha
sololaugh: i liked that belt too
xcr253: i'm so badass
sololaugh: lol
sololaugh: yup
sololaugh: that part i dreamed in bullettime
xcr253: you're freaking kidding me
sololaugh: haha probably b/c i just watched matrix reloaded again
sololaugh: lol, nope
xcr253: lol
xcr253: when did you wake up?
sololaugh: after you we hit the mountain wall
xcr253: LOLOLOLOL
xcr253: like in emperor's new groove
sololaugh: lol yeah!
xcr253: or indy!
sololaugh: lol, well it wasn't indy
xcr253: what, with the pants and all
sololaugh: lol
sololaugh: i can't find meaning behind the whole pants thing
sololaugh: hehe well i hope you enjoyed that
xcr253: thank you
xcr253: *shakes hand*
xcr253: thank you so much

more frikin birthdays?!
Wednesday, October 1, 2003 | 11:38 p.m.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELAINE!!!

and, somewhere in germany, i hope you get a chance to see this...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIKHAI! i miss you tons. hope you and mark are doing great.

also...my stepdad's bday and my cousin's bday is also today. isn't that nuts? i mean, that's a lot of people who you know to have a bday all on the same day. odd.

know what else is odd? *wink marcos and lucas*

Sam is Awesome
Saturday, September 27, 2003 | 12:36 a.m.

The title basically says it all... it's time someone just came out and said it, because really he's just too modest.

and i'm a babe magnet.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003 | 06:31 p.m.

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY MAAAAAARCOS!

ps. you're laaaaaame! but i love you.

alpha bons
Friday, September 12, 2003 | 02:34 a.m.

happy birthday, barry!!!

love you.

footnote sololaughter
Thursday, September 11, 2003 | 02:19 p.m.

what were you doing two years ago?


Friday, September 5, 2003 | 12:58 a.m.

I was condescending because I felt like a serious idiot, a royal fuck-up, and a general lost cause. It be came apparent very quickly that I was light-years away from understanding my Issues. I understood that what I was doing was not, by any objective standards, healthy, and I understood that there were reasons I was doing it. It was not my opinion, however, that those reasons were anything serious, anything complex at all. I assumed, though I did say this, that there was something innately wrong with me, that I was a priori flawed in some way. I was not sad, I was not angry, I was not depressed, I was not bipolar or schizophrenic, I did not have a personality disorder, there were no events in my life that were overly traumatic, nothing external was wrong. What was wrong was me, therefore no amount of therapy would make me well.

All of us have theories about the world and about ourselves. We will go to great lengths to prove ourselves right because it keeps the world in our head coherent and understandable. My theory was simple: I was a screwed-up person. The phrase "self-fulfilling prophecy" comes to mind. from wasted, by marya hornbacher

cyn is currently feeling The current mood of cyndihime253@yahoo.com at www.imood.com

quote
Trying to get people interested in literature and drama these days i slike...tilting at windmills.
~8/5/03, Steve Breen's Grand Avenue

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And in a way, I'm dead already.

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